yes, the hotel clerk hates you
I have three-
The room number reserved for you.
If you can tell me which city the area code is, then you can get a bottle of red wine for free.
Okay, I\'m ready!
\"You are in room 504.
\"Well . . . . . . I don\'t know. Darn it. Houston”“Oh! So close.
The New Orleans area code is 504. ”“New Orleeens!
\"I like the new orleens,\" she said . \"
\"But I will never get it . . . . . . \" \"Well, you love New Orleans and I will send you the wine anyway!
Welcome to the Bellevue Hotel.
I handed the key to a Bellman with a smile.
I frowned disapprovingly and stole them from my hand.
He\'s down right now.
\"What\'s wrong with you, Tom ? \" \"I feel good. ”“Clearly.
You better handle it.
\"I\'m refreshed and you know I\'m doing well there and it\'s focused.
\"You are a real fool when you are happy.
We all had a good laugh about it.
But soon the job began to attack my soul, tearing my heart apart and leaving me exhausted again.
Three hours later.
One guest was already attacking me: \"You think it\'s fun for me to stay here 10 times a year.
This made me one of your top guests.
You \'d better give me the room number I guarantee right now or you\'ll have serious trouble.
\"There are a few things that the businessman was completely wrong.
First of all, we never guarantee the room number.
The most serious mistake employees may make is to commit to the room number.
Anything could happen.
Extended, flooded from the room above, a murder, someone else paid me 20 for a nice view, and I have given it away.
Second, ten times a year, no one is a top guest.
We have people who punch in 200 nights a year. Anal-Block-
Stan even had that beat.
His two huge revenues, like a small black spot on the lobby floor, don\'t mean jack shit for anyone, especially for GM.
This guest, asshole A, is obviously the kind of idiot who is willing to go further and really point out that he doesn\'t know anything about the situation.
\"I will never live here again, do you know I will take my business to the square?
Even though I can\'t say it out loud, it\'s exactly what I think: \"Well, sir, I think it\'s impossible for me to care less!
Please stay at the Plaza Hotel.
In any case, we don\'t want low-income/high-benefit guests like you to squeeze into our lobby.
Also, do you think I have my own stock? Think this: maybe McDonald\'s got your order wrong. Maybe they overcooked your fries and turned them into black sticks.
Will you try to use this logic on fried foods? The chef promised to eat only at Burger King. No, you won\'t.
Because they\'re just cooks.
They don\'t care about the source of McDonald\'s income, sir.
Dear guest, I am just a fried chef here.
Staying somewhere else will only make me happy if I don\'t see you.
\"Threatening the front desk agent will get you nothing.
That\'s not true.
It got you into a worse room.
I broke the block from those even pre-
Just because of their bad attitude, they stayed in a gorgeous room.
They didn\'t even know they would initially see Central Park in a corner with a big bathroom.
I just took it from them because they yelled at their wife and rudely treated her elbow the way I didn\'t appreciate it.
It may not be beautiful, but it is important that we discuss this topic.
Because this is just the beginning of the way I punish guests.
I am the God of immediate karma. Instant.
Not waiting for it to kick in.
No four to six weeks for delivery.
If a guest makes racist comments about the taxi driver, there will be a rebound now.
If some ignorant guests think it is appropriate to make homophobic comments about anyone around me, let alone say it directly to me, I will do justice: harsh. Instantaneous. Justice.
Por Ejemplo: when it comes to area codes, one of the most wonderful tools I can use is to put guests in a room on the 12 th floor.
There seems to be no penalty for this room: there is a decent room for all accounts.
However, if I put you in Room 1212, your phone will not stop ringing because of the wrong number.
Why, it seems that a lot of guests have never learned from every phone call in the hotel that you have to make a call.
In general, to make any call, you must press \"9\" before making a local or other call \".
So, trust me, there are idiots scattered throughout the building all day and they will pick up the phone and try to dial a local number directly, starting with 1 (212).
It doesn\'t matter what they Press after that, because they have already dialed room 1212, and 1212 of the guests will constantly answer the phone at 3: 00. m.
Call and hear other numbers or some drunk guests say loudly, \"Hello, Hello, who is this\" \"When will you call me, who is this\" \"I want to order Sichuan chicken, forgive me, this is a happy family house \"day. All night. Just like that.
As early as my second year, I invented the \"key bomb\" and it became an instant protocol.
Someone, maybe the Bellman, can ask for a move.
\"Yo Tommy,\" Cui took me to the table and said to me, \"Key bomb this guy.
He said the taxi driver was racist.
I hope I will never hear this again.
\"You got it, Cui. Trey.
\"When I cut off the key for the bomb, I made a little different.
Any arriving guest should receive the so-called \"initial key\" which is programmed to reset the door lock the first time the door lock is inserted and deactivate all previous keys.
The guests seem to think that these locks are supercomputers, connected to the system wirelessly, so if they check out at their desk and find that they forgot something in the safe, they will ask me if their key is still valid.
I told them they would.
They then pointed out again that I just checked.
But alive people, they will still work until they automatically
Expires on a certain date and time (
Automatically specified when checking
Start at 3: 00. m.
The day they left).
Their Keys will not work until the keys expire or new \"initial Keys\" Enter the lock.
So dear guest, if you have an extension, even if the front desk forgets to inform you (which we will)
Yes, you need a new key. (
Welcome, my front desk!
I just told everyone right away! )
No, they don\'t have your personal information, credit card information, passport number and age of your child.
I don\'t know who made the rumor.
Why would we put the personal information on the one-time key card but go back to the key bomb.
I can even program your keys if I want to, just give you any old stuff, before dragging your bag back to get the new key, let you fight the red light over and over again, and I can again refuse to program correctly although it looks like me, because I run them through programmers, but only authorize them to join the fitness club.
However, this can cause heat, which is why the key bombs are so gorgeous.
What I did was to cut a \"initial\" key and start over and cut the second \"initial\" key.
Any of them will work when you get to the room. Slide one in;
You get green and everything will be fine as long as you keep using the first key you slide in.
But most likely you will pop up a second key at some point, and then in terms of dumb ass locks, the first key you use will be taken into account and invalid as an old key.
There\'s no doubt that at some point after that, you\'ll be locked out of the room, stuffing your first key into the slot and fighting that damn red or yellow light (
I don\'t know what the yellow light means, but it won\'t let you in either).
This is the key bomb.
I have no chance to go back to this.
Back to the nine you told you-year-
When checking, the old daughter closed her mouth when she tore her little backpack severely in front of me --in Never.
I also happened to know that the electronic curtains in room 3204 didn\'t work, and there was a lot of early morning sunshine inside.
I wish you a late sleep.
Recently, I called Perry and he told a story that a Bellman friend at another hotel told him. Among all get-
There is a king behind.
This may be: be careful and be careful of any employee who does not wear a famous brand.
They are doing something that they do not want to be identified.
Excerpt from the head of the bed: reckless memoirs of hotels, stles and So-
Jacob tommski. ©Jacob tommski 2010
Excerpts from Doubleday license, a department of Random House, Inc.
All rights reserved.
No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reproduced without the publisher\'s written permission.